Sunday, July 25, 2010

Boy hugs

(yup, thats right....more talk about the boy!)

His kisses are yummy. I like them and like that I get so many of them.

But his hugs are great too.

He's a fair bit taller than I am (I come in at 5'6"...while not short I'm not exactly tall either), I'm guessing he's 6'1" or so. Anyway, when he wraps his arms around me I fit in there perfectly. My head just hits his chest.

I needed a hug today. I've had a rough, long, busy weekend at work (the girl I was working with is a useless twit). Yesterday was bad, today was brutal. He called a few times throughout the day to make sure I was holding it together. And I was. Operative word: was. I gave the twit a few simple tasks to work on and told her I was taking a 10min walk, call my cell if you need anything. I called him, asked where he was. He was in his office. Great, stay put. I'm en route.

He knew, as soon as he saw me, that I just needed a hug. And he delivered.

Most people who know me know I don't like to be touched. I don't know why or where it came from but I just don't like it. But his hugs are different. As soon as he had ahold of me today I pretty well instantly relaxed and told him I could have fallen asleep standing there in his arms. It didn't make it any easier to want to go back to work either. However, it did make life suck a little less at that moment.

I met a friend and her bf after work for sushi. It was originally supposed to just be her and I so we could have a girls night: I hadn't seen her in a month so she was out of the loop as far as details about the boy go. However, her bf assumed he was included, so he came along. Which was fine, I like him, he's fun to hangout with. After dinner they went off to the beach so he could surf. She was texting me while she waited. Her first message to me said:

"you looked really happy today"

Me: "I know! Weird, eh"

Her: "Yes, in a very very good way!"

And I am really happy. I could be in the worst mood having the worst day, then I see him and its all better. Life is happier, then. I'm happier. He calms me.

We have plans to get together on Tuesday morning. Not sure what he has planned for the morning, but as long as I'm with him, thats really all that matters!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I want to fix it

Thats how I am. If something is wrong with someone I want to do what I can to fix it, or at least make it a little better for them.

The boy told me today he has another Dr appointment tomorrow. I was like "again?". He told me there is something wrong with him but they can't figure out what. Last week when he was there he told me it was an appointment for something to do with the military. He's retired from the military, but me being clueless about how the military works figured maybe this was some sort of follow up. Turns out, maybe not.

He hasn't told me what the problem is. I realize they don't know exactly what the issue is, but he hasn't even hinted toward it. Which I guess is fair enough.

I asked if he was OK..all he kept saying was he didn't know and that something is wrong. Ok, when I asked if you were OK I meant YOU. I told him if he needed anything he knew how to find me.

I have noticed lately he hasn't been quite himself. I hope whatever it is it isn't too serious and he's able to get it sorted out.

Perhaps I shouldn't tell him I've got my own issues I've been putting off going to the Dr for.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Ok, deep breath....(TMI alert)

Ok, so for those who don't know things with the boy are super great! And I'm so excited by that!

I asked him yesterday to play hooky from work today in favor of spending the day with me. He told me he couldn't take the day off. I got a text just a bit ago saying he left work early. Of course I have plans for tonight.

So, um, yeah...TMI alert: we made whoopie the other day. I'll spare you the details and suffice it to say that it was great.

And then he asks me if I'm on BC. I'm not. And I told him that. I also told him I was making an appointment ASAP to get some. (yeah, I know...should have thought of this sooner) His response:

its probably too late anyway.

Um, what?

He apparently has supersonic swimmers.

While I'm not the most fertile person out there this inspires a bit of panic. What if his swimmers are SO good they can even get to me?

I told him he wasn't being funny. He swears up and down its true. He's apparently quite fertile.

I told him I'm hoping my less than stellar fertility will balance off his supersonic fertility.

I wasn't planning on drinking at my friend's bday dinner tonight, but now I think I might!

So he signs off to go have a nap with: "anyway, enjoy your dinner mom, don't forget you're now eating for two"

Jerk.

While I know my getting pregnant takes more than "wham bam thankyou ma'am", it actually takes medical intervention, this is enough to make my head spin. There are too many what ifs. Time to get him some whacker wrappers and me some BC! PRONTO!

Seriously, I don't need or want a lecture on this. I KNOW! This is something we should have thought about before. I know I know.

Aaahhh....

After laying low most of yesterday and having a few cold ones last night my internal sense of panic disappeared.

I was just sooooo taken aback yesterday seeing that face again. I mean, really, what are the odds? Of all the grocery stores in this city she had to walk into mine!

I have no idea if she remembers or recognizes me, and I don't really care if she does or doesn't. All I know is I remember and recognize her. It did spark my need to flee. I mean really, someone tells you once they're going to put a bullet in you, you don't hang around to let them have a second chance. The police told me if she showed up again to call them. I didn't. I just wanted out of there. I did tell them I wasn't giving her the chance to threaten me again. They agreed that shouldn't be allowed to happen.

I had a rocky sleep last night. I fell asleep easlily enough (for a change) but had a restless sleep. I woke up this morning to find my sheets wrapped around my neck. I very rarely stay laying in one place at night anyway, but last night I must have been extra restless because none of my sheets were where they should have been.

Tonight is my friend's 30th birthday celebration. Her actual birthday was a few days ago, but because she was out of town the celebration was delayed. There's a bunch of us going to the Economy Shoe Shop for some eats, then out for drinking afterwards. I'm definitely going for dinner but am reasonably certain I'll be skipping the drinking after, for two reasons: 1) its not in the budget and 2) I don't want to deal with the hangover tomorrow. I just don't recover from a night out like I used to. It takes me days now to be back to normal. I'm not 21 anymore where I could go out all night, drink my face off and still function the next day. I go out now and drink my face off I need 2 days to lay in bed! And I'm getting together next week with a friend I haven't seen in 3 years so I want to preserve some drinking time for then! Not that we plan to have an epic night, but if we do have a few drinks I want to be able to enjoy it, and not still be recovering from the last time!

I'm so excited to get together with K again! When her and I get together trouble almost always happens! (oh, the stories I could tell you!) I met her when I moved to Alberta back in '04. We became good friends quite quickly. She's originally from NS as well. Since I moved back to NS 3 years ago we've talked a handful of times, kept up with eachother via Facebook. She's been home visiting a few times but it never worked out for us to get together. This time: WE'RE GETTING TOGETHER! And I can't wait! I'm so excited! We plan to hangout at her cottage, swim, eat, have a drink or two, and just catch up! Seriously, I'm THAT excited!

WOOOOHOOOO!!!! C'mon Tuesday!

Monday, July 19, 2010

A face I'll not soon forget

The boy and I texted a bit this morning. I could tell he wasn't really in the mood since he's staring down a long week of 12hr shifts. But he humoured me and played along for a bit. He asked if I was going to go hang out at the beach today. I told him I'd like to but have no one to go with me. He said I should go alone, get some peace and quiet. I'm pondering the idea, but I'm not so sure I want to make the 30min drive to the beach, get there, hang out for 45mins, decide beaching it solo isn't so much fun then make the 30min trek back home. Though after this morning I may just go anyway to decompress a bit.

I went to get groceries this morning. I was doing my thing, paid for my order and was on my way out of the store when I stopped dead in my tracks. There she was. Staring right at me. The crazy lady. The one who told me she was going to shoot me.

And cue panic mode.

Panic mode lead to flee mode.

And here I thought I was over it. Apparently seeing that twisted face of her's brought it all back.

Ugh. I texted a couple of friends to tell them. They both asked if I was OK. Which I am/was. I was just panicky and freaking out slightly. What I really wanted to do was call the boy, but I didn't want him to think I was being silly and over reacting. I may call him later though.

That was a fantastic start to my day. I'm telling you, her face is one I will not soon forget.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

So sleepy.....

The boy and I are still fine. I was just having a female brain overreaction the other day that was making me think things weren't fine. I told him yesterday I thought he was mad at me. He assured me he wasn't, that he was just having a horribly bad day and wanted to be left alone. Fair enough.

He has decided he is going to actively look for a new job. This one is sucking him dry. He said yesterday he hates coming to work now. So I said "but I'm here!" and he said "I know. You're the only thing that keeps me coming in. You're my only brightspot in my days".

He also decided last night he was going to leave work 2hrs early. Since I like having him at work and like seeing him I got my pout on! I stuck my lower lip out and gave it my all! And he totally noticed. He called me on my pout and then sent me a text saying "you're being mushy today". Yeah, I'm not always cold and crusty! But it didn't work. He still left early.

He sent me a message at 10:30 last night saying he won $1250 partying with a buddy of his. He's had such a crap few days I'm glad he's got himself a little bit of extra happy. How he won it I don't know. I'll find that out today. We said our goodnights shortly after.

So I called it a night just after midnight. I was tired from not sleeping well the night before. At 1am my phone goes off. Seriously? I very rarely leave my ringer actually turned on, its usually on vibrate which I may or may not hear when I'm sleeping. Last night: ringer on. And its him. And the convo goes something like this:

P: "bad night, wanna be a housewife in Barbados, have a couple kids?"
E: "a housewife in barbados?"
P: "One of two jobs"
E: Barbados eh, sounds like an adventure.
P: That or Victoria
E: Victoria, BC? I love BC!
P: If I wanna
E: If you wanna? I'm not so sure I'm alert enough to follow.
P: Ok, tomorrow
E: You'll have to explain to me tomorrow because I don't think I'm following
P: You OK being a mom?
E: possibly. Still not sure about the idea of having kids.
P: We wik (which I assume he means 'we will')
E: Ok, its almost 2am, I've got to get some sleep. I'll talk to you in the morning.

Um, what? Barbados? Victoria? Housewife? KIDS?

Ok, a move I could potentially deal with. Housewife I could probably deal with (though I HATE the term housewife), though would probably get bored quickly. Kids? Not sure about that one. Or ones as he seems to want.

That was quite the conversation to be having at 2am!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

blergh.

Thats pretty well how I'm feeling today.

The weather is crap: the brochure didn't mention this was monsoon season. I want a refund.

Because of the weather I've been trapped in my house all day. Its not just raining. Its torrential down pouring. The kind of rain where you're soaked 2.3secs after stepping outside. Its lovely.

And AF came to visit the other day for the first time in almost a year. The rollercoaster horomones are throwing me for a loop. This too is lovely.

The boy woke me up at 8:03 this morning. Not cool. He usually calls or texts around 10:30 with a "good morning, are you up yet?", however this morning he figured 8:03 was a better time. Ugh. And now he's downtown sitting in a bar having a beer pondering his job situation.

A month ago he found out he wasn't getting a promotion he was told he'd be getting. Since then he's been unsure as to what he wanted to do: suck it up and stay or find a new job. He decided to stay, as concenus was his new manager wasn't going to last that long. However, he had lunch with his former boss (who used to work at the hotel) and he wants him to go work for him. Which would be fine, from what I gather its a similar job with better pay.

Then there is also our hotel manager who is currently between our hotel and one in another province. He keeps telling him to "just give him 2 months, I can't say anything but just give me 2 months". I figure he wants him to go work in Ontario where he is now.

If I got an opinion I'd rather he stay here. However, we're only, what, a week into this. I don't get an opinion on what he does with himself. Not yet anyway.

Anyway, we were supposed to do something today, however he's got all this on the brain he hasn't even mentioned getting together. Which is fair enough. I understand where he's coming from. I'm just having one of those days and would like to see him.

Ugh. Being an emotional chick sometimes sucks!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

A walk, sunshine and a little fog.

And the boy.

Yup, thats right, the boy!

We were talking this morning and he says "come meet me at the park. we'll go for a walk".

"When?"

"It'll take me 20mins to walk there, so in about 20mins".

Ugh. At that point I wasn't showered (hadn't showered since Saturday evening) and was still in my jammies, hair going in a zillion directions.

I was a bit late getting there but I did it (sans shower). Thank goodness my hair is long enough to go into a pony tail! I threw on the first cuteish outfit I could find and off I went.

We walked around a beautiful park in the city which borders the harbour where we watched some yachts for a bit, though the fog was rolling in. The fog was a bit of a blessing since it was so warm, the fog gave a bit of relief.

The park has some old artillary buildings from many years ago. You can't go in them, but you can go up on top of some of them, so we explored a bit.

He held my hand for the first time. I like it when a boy holds my hand. (it feels odd calling him a boy since he's obviously not)

And we kissed. Oh boy we kissed. I haven't kissed like that in a long long looooooong time. And omigosh he found my weak spot......already! (I think I may be in trouble with this one! haha) We teased eachother. And held eachother. It was great.

This was the first time we spent any time together outside of work. It was nice. And I'm sure there will be much much more of it. And this is something that makes me happy!

Friday, July 9, 2010

"How goes OLD?"

Ha!

The short answer: its not. And I don't care. I really really don't.

One of the guys I work with, who is 8 years younger than I, asked how POF was going. I told him it wasn't, I hadn't logged in for weeks and don't really care either. He has been on POF for about 2 months now and is already tired and done with it. I told him I had no intention of logging in anytime soon and that I'm having far too much fun this summer so far to worry about it anyway.

Yes, thats right. I, Erin, am having fun! And I'm loving it! I'm not doing anything crazy exciting but hanging out with friends, wandering the waterfront, hitting the beach.....I've done more so far this summer than I did all last summer! Up until recently I preferred to live like a hermit. I have to deal with people all day at work, I didn't want to deal with them when not at work was my theory. However, I don't necessarily have to deal with people when out and about. I can be pleasant and polite but I don't have to have indepth interactions, which is fine by me.

I can even say that I'm having some fun at work too. Sure there are a handful of hard ones to deal with, but for the most part everyone has been so super nice. I love a guest that checks in that didn't check their brain when they left their house. They've all been nice and funny and super easygoing, which makes doing my job so much easier. We're in the Maritimes, we're a laid back bunch that do things a notch or two slower than most other places. It takes some adjustment for some people. However, please do not take it out on us because you're wound tighter than a 7-year clock.

Anyway, so far this summer has been great! And there is so much more summer left to be had!

PS: for anyone who cares or was wondering- Mr. Maintenance = not attached.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Happy 143rd Birthday!

Happy Birthday, Canada!

(yes, I'm tad late in posting this, right now its not technically July 1 anymore)

For fun I looked up a few reasons why people love Canada. Some of them were:

  1. Canadian Bacon
  2. Beer that doesn't suck
  3. The weather: its unique and extreme-where else can you go from +40C to -40C?
  4. Colorful money
    The Beaver is its national symbol
  5. Poutine
  6. The Toque
  7. Tim Horton's <-one of my faves!

I love my country! I love its diversity and all its people. I love how, generally, we're a laid back group of people. I love our mountains, our lakes and oceans. I really really love where I live.

Here's to you Canada! You've stood your own for the past 143 years, here's to another!