Quit comparing me to you!

This is coming from a place of frustration and lack of sleep (stupid thunder storm). And yes, it is boy related. And not directed at any one person...just a general vent.

Please, for the love of whoever: stop comparing me to you!

Just because your relationship(s) started off with the two of you spending countless hours together, doing things together, hours spent on the phone with eachother, does not mean that because I'm not getting those things that the boy and I are doomed.

You're right, it has been 2 weeks since I last saw him. However, let me explain:
I saw him on the first day of my vacation, we hung out that morning. I dropped him off at work then I was on my way to hit the highway to go away for a few days. I landed back at home for one night then I was off on the highway again for another few nights away. In total I was gone for 8 days. And the day I landed back in the city he was gone for the remainder of the week with his friends in another province. Explain to me how we were supposed to get together when I was either at one end of the province or the other and not in the city near him, and then he was in another province all together? Logistically it just wasn't possible.

And I do realize not everyone would be quite as patient as I have been thus far. I realize many girls by now would have demanded more time or thrown in the towel already. I am very much aware of that. However, there is more to the situation than I can give detail in a blog post - he's got shit going on in his life: he's got a brother being shipped off to Afghanistan in the near future, his parents are older so he's involved with them, he's got health issues going on that the doctors can't put their finger on, he was miserable at work and was actively looking for new employment and finally found something worth going to.....and there's more, it would just take me far too long to type out all the details for you.

Do I believe him when he tells me he's got a crapload on his plate? I do.
Do I think there's another woman? No. I don't. I've been down that road before, I know what it looks like and feels like. And I'm pretty in tune with my gut. When it tells me something isn't right, it usually means something isn't right. My gut hasn't kicked in.
Do I think I'm settling just because he's the first decent guy that has come along in quite awhile? No. I don't. I also know what settling feels like. This isn't it.


I just wish more people would realize that there is more than one way to get to a happy ending. So there may be a few bumps along the road in the beginning. Does that mean I should just turn around and give up and forego a potential life time of happiness and bliss?

Do I expect everyone to understand? No.

Do I wish you all could meet him so you'd get to know HIM? I do. I really really do. I've never felt so comfortable, safe and happy with a man before. When we are together he makes me feel like a queen. He tells me I'm beautiful (something I've never heard from a guy before...ever.), and he tells me he likes me just as I am and to not ever change. When we first started talking he told me to just be me, nothing more, nothing less.

We've talked about the lack of time we have together, and he understands that I want to see him more and it not involve being at work. He has assured me I will get more of his time very soon. He's just burning the candle at both ends right now. I get it. I would like to think if it were me with all this stuff going on he'd be patient with me as well.

I've always been one to do things my way, which is often not the way most everyone else would. And ya know what, thats OK. Thats part of what makes me, me. I am an almost 30 year old woman. I can stand on my own two feet and make my own choices.

So please, unless you're in my shoes (or have been in similar shoes) please don't judge me or compare me to how things went in your relationship. These are my shoes to walk in. If my shoes start telling me its time to turn back, I will follow them. However, I like the path they're on and want to see where they take me.