Birthday Blues

Yeah, more whining about my bday. But this time its not about my turning 30 and the strong possibility I'll be spending my bday solo.

For those that don't know: I'm adopted (as is one of my brothers). So every year when my bday rolls around I kinda get conflicting feelings. I start to wonder.

Its this time of year when I wonder if they think of me at all, or am I just some distant memory. I know they do likely think of me, however thats where the conflicting feelings come in: do they or don't they? What do they look like? Do I have any siblings out there somewhere? Aunts and uncles?

My parents are my parents. I love them dearly. Without them who knows where I could have ended up. They're mom and dad and will always and forever be mom and dad. No one could ever possibly replace them, nor do i want anyone to ever replace them.

And honestly I have very little interest in actually meeting my biological family. I just often wonder who I look more like, stuff like that. And its usually this time of year when I start to really wonder about it. I'm sure somewhere out there are people wondering the same things about me. Most of the rest of the year I don't even think about it, unless it comes up in conversation: one of the guys at work is adopted as well, and people sometimes ask us questions about it, which is fine. Generally its a non issue, until just before my birthday.

I don't regret my life at all and don't wish it changed in anyway. My parents provided me with love, a safe home and a wonderful childhood. Couldn't possibly have asked for more.