So, I jumped on the scale last night. Ugh. Why do I do such things to myself?
One of my roomies and I were talking about weight and diet and all that jazz last night. She was sayin her normal weight is usually around 128lbs. *le sigh* Then I had the horrifying realization that I am damn near 100lbs more than her. Good lord.
How did this happen? How have I gained 65lbs over the past 11 years?
Now, in fairness I just got on the scale again. I wanted to see if there was a difference between last night's number and the number I got first thing in the morning. And there was a difference. A 5lb difference! The last time I weighed myself was when I was on vacation. I jumped on the scale one morning before breakfast - that number was horrifying. Suffice it to say I'm down from that number. So I am losing, which is a good thing. I just wish it would go a little faster. But I'm at about an 8lb loss overall. Mind you it has taken me 3 months to lose that 8lbs. Now if I could just get rid of about 18lbs I'll be out of the 200s. You have no idea how happy it will make me to see the 100s again. Then from there about another 30lbs to get back down to a reasonable weight.
While I don't like the number on the scale right now at least the number is changing in the right direction. If I could just figure out how to stick with it, I'd be all set.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
A rekindled friendship....maybe.
K and I met when I lived in Alberta. He and I worked together at a resort. He being who he is not everyone gets along well with him. But for some reason I gave him a chance. We became good friends quickly. Eventually he quit working at the resort as did I.
For lack of a better way of describing him: he's an asshole.
He thinks he's just being honest and saying things that everyone else is afraid to say. Um, no. You're a jerk. And you're hurtful. And most of the rest of us don't say the things you do because its horribly inappropriate.
We remained friends throughout the rest of my time in Alberta. He drove me to the airport the morning I moved back home. We kept in touch sporadically over the next few months then that drifted off. He started dating my friend/roomie/former coworker B after I left Alberta. A few months later they both came here to visit for a week. Once they went back to Alberta I didn't hear from them. I tried several times but never had any luck and eventually gave up trying.
Almost 2 years later he moves here (he is originally from here) when he gets a new job. The plan was for her to follow up a month or two later. He started calling me wanting to get together. It never panned out for two reasons: #1) his hobby of choice is drinking, #2) his timing wasn't always the greatest wanting to get together on days I had to work. So because us getting together never happened he just dropped off the face of the earth. A few weeks later i sent him an email asking where he went and what was up. He sent me back a reply saying something to the effect of: friends talk to friends and want to do things with them, they don't avoid and bail on them. I replied with: And now you know how I felt all that time I never heard a word from you for almost 2 years.
Fast forward to a month ago. He readds me to Facebook. I accepted his friend request, but we never really chatted or anything. Yesterday he messaged me and asked if i want to go grab a beer with him that afternoon. I asked him if today would be an option instead, this way I'd have a day to ponder if I really wanted to reconnect with him. We ended up going for a beer this afternoon where he told me about the drama with B and their breakup, and I told him about my shinanigans with P.
He hasn't changed a bit: he's still an asshole. Only now he admits he's an ass.
So now I'm wondering how much I really want friendship with him again. Yes he's difficult and he's a jerk but he's also the type of person if I called him for something I know without a doubt he'd be there. If I were stuck or needed help he'd be there. I can't say I missed dealing with him over the past year. It was nice to not have to put up with his crap and listen to him spew vile negativity. And now I'm torn. Try to rekindle a friendship or let it go again?
*****
On another note.......
I've been following the rescue cover of the miners in Chile. I have to say its nice to finally see some positive news coverage. There's so much negativity out there its refreshing to see something happy on the news.
Every time I see some of the coverage it gives me chills. I can't even imagine what they and their families have been going through and the relief they must be feeling now.
From half a world away: WELCOME HOME!!!
For lack of a better way of describing him: he's an asshole.
He thinks he's just being honest and saying things that everyone else is afraid to say. Um, no. You're a jerk. And you're hurtful. And most of the rest of us don't say the things you do because its horribly inappropriate.
We remained friends throughout the rest of my time in Alberta. He drove me to the airport the morning I moved back home. We kept in touch sporadically over the next few months then that drifted off. He started dating my friend/roomie/former coworker B after I left Alberta. A few months later they both came here to visit for a week. Once they went back to Alberta I didn't hear from them. I tried several times but never had any luck and eventually gave up trying.
Almost 2 years later he moves here (he is originally from here) when he gets a new job. The plan was for her to follow up a month or two later. He started calling me wanting to get together. It never panned out for two reasons: #1) his hobby of choice is drinking, #2) his timing wasn't always the greatest wanting to get together on days I had to work. So because us getting together never happened he just dropped off the face of the earth. A few weeks later i sent him an email asking where he went and what was up. He sent me back a reply saying something to the effect of: friends talk to friends and want to do things with them, they don't avoid and bail on them. I replied with: And now you know how I felt all that time I never heard a word from you for almost 2 years.
Fast forward to a month ago. He readds me to Facebook. I accepted his friend request, but we never really chatted or anything. Yesterday he messaged me and asked if i want to go grab a beer with him that afternoon. I asked him if today would be an option instead, this way I'd have a day to ponder if I really wanted to reconnect with him. We ended up going for a beer this afternoon where he told me about the drama with B and their breakup, and I told him about my shinanigans with P.
He hasn't changed a bit: he's still an asshole. Only now he admits he's an ass.
So now I'm wondering how much I really want friendship with him again. Yes he's difficult and he's a jerk but he's also the type of person if I called him for something I know without a doubt he'd be there. If I were stuck or needed help he'd be there. I can't say I missed dealing with him over the past year. It was nice to not have to put up with his crap and listen to him spew vile negativity. And now I'm torn. Try to rekindle a friendship or let it go again?
*****
On another note.......
I've been following the rescue cover of the miners in Chile. I have to say its nice to finally see some positive news coverage. There's so much negativity out there its refreshing to see something happy on the news.
Every time I see some of the coverage it gives me chills. I can't even imagine what they and their families have been going through and the relief they must be feeling now.
From half a world away: WELCOME HOME!!!
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Bliss
I'm so completely, totally in love with this little girl. I just want to squish her chubby little cheeks.
She seems to have her father (my brother) wrapped around her chubby little finger already. He's quite in love with her.
We're pretty sure she's a keeper!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
SHE'S GOING TO BE HERE SOON!
My little brother called me this morning at 6:30 saying he and his gf were at the hospital. She's in labour so baby will be here soon / sometime today! I'M SO EXCITED!!!
My little brother is going to be a daddy!! Slightly frightening, but I'm so proud of him!
And I'm going to be an AUNTIE!! I'm going to be world's best auntie! Can't wait for the spoiling to start! I adore SIL's little girl (who will be 4 in a week and a half), I consider her to be my niece so I guess technically I already am an auntie, but the new baby will be my first official niece.
Its taking everything I have not to call him every 15mins for updates! He said he'd let me know as soon as Miss McKenna makes her grand entrance. I'm trying to be patient but its just so hard!
On to other news:
I need to go shopping. My pants don't fit me anymore. They're all falling off my butt. Which I suppose is a good thing!
I bought a pair of size 16 dress pants back in July just before I went on vacation. At that point they fit pretty well (down from a size 18!). Now they're falling off me. Like the kind of falling off where I'm constantly pulling them up. I bought a pair of jeans a few months ago as well that were a bit snug when I bought them, then eventually they fit me just right. Now, they're big. I get that jeans stretch but these bad boys are too big when they stretch out. I bought a new top the other day. Size: L! Down from XL! It is a teeny bit snug but not too bad. XL would definitely have been too big.
When I started working at my job I was given 2 uniform shirts, 2 vests, a pair of pants and a skirt. I haven't been able to wear the skirt, it was too small. And because its so highwaisted it came far too short on me. I tried it on this morning IT FITS!! I'm not a huge skirt/dress fan, but when I wear the same black pants and green shirt to work everyday it'll be nice to have something to change it up a bit.
I have no idea what I'm doing, but something must be right!
My little brother is going to be a daddy!! Slightly frightening, but I'm so proud of him!
And I'm going to be an AUNTIE!! I'm going to be world's best auntie! Can't wait for the spoiling to start! I adore SIL's little girl (who will be 4 in a week and a half), I consider her to be my niece so I guess technically I already am an auntie, but the new baby will be my first official niece.
Its taking everything I have not to call him every 15mins for updates! He said he'd let me know as soon as Miss McKenna makes her grand entrance. I'm trying to be patient but its just so hard!
On to other news:
I need to go shopping. My pants don't fit me anymore. They're all falling off my butt. Which I suppose is a good thing!
I bought a pair of size 16 dress pants back in July just before I went on vacation. At that point they fit pretty well (down from a size 18!). Now they're falling off me. Like the kind of falling off where I'm constantly pulling them up. I bought a pair of jeans a few months ago as well that were a bit snug when I bought them, then eventually they fit me just right. Now, they're big. I get that jeans stretch but these bad boys are too big when they stretch out. I bought a new top the other day. Size: L! Down from XL! It is a teeny bit snug but not too bad. XL would definitely have been too big.
When I started working at my job I was given 2 uniform shirts, 2 vests, a pair of pants and a skirt. I haven't been able to wear the skirt, it was too small. And because its so highwaisted it came far too short on me. I tried it on this morning IT FITS!! I'm not a huge skirt/dress fan, but when I wear the same black pants and green shirt to work everyday it'll be nice to have something to change it up a bit.
I have no idea what I'm doing, but something must be right!
Monday, September 13, 2010
You're a class A jerk
I hope karma bites you in the ass when you least expect it to.
I've thought of ways I could "get" you, but realize its not worth my time and energy. I know karma will look after that for me. And really, I'm a bigger person than that.
Forget the fact that you played my emotions like a violin, how about putting my health at risk? You were with me and her at the same time. Were there others? My emotions were, and have, healed, my physical health isn't quite as easily put back together. Gee, thanks for putting me, unknowingly, into that situation. You're a super star.
All those weekends at the cabin with the guys? Yeah, thanks for lying to me about that too. You were feeding me that line to keep me quiet so you could be with her and me not bother you, therefore busting your sorry ass. And silly me I believed you. But don't worry, I've figured out your little game. And the game stops here buddy.
THANK GOODNESS I'm not pregnant (yeah, had a wee bit of a scare complete with a battery of pregnacy symptoms). Ya know, I decided I'd be OK to be a single parent, because I know you wouldn't be there because of her - admitting you were having a child with another woman would have outted your little game. I also decided that I'd see your ass in court. It took two to tango. However, thankfully only one line appeared on that magic little stick, so I don't have to worry about having to deal with you ever again. It was dealing with your bullshit that worried me more than having a child.
So to you I bid farewell. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. You don't get a third chance. I'm done. I'm out. And I'm OK!
I've thought of ways I could "get" you, but realize its not worth my time and energy. I know karma will look after that for me. And really, I'm a bigger person than that.
Forget the fact that you played my emotions like a violin, how about putting my health at risk? You were with me and her at the same time. Were there others? My emotions were, and have, healed, my physical health isn't quite as easily put back together. Gee, thanks for putting me, unknowingly, into that situation. You're a super star.
All those weekends at the cabin with the guys? Yeah, thanks for lying to me about that too. You were feeding me that line to keep me quiet so you could be with her and me not bother you, therefore busting your sorry ass. And silly me I believed you. But don't worry, I've figured out your little game. And the game stops here buddy.
THANK GOODNESS I'm not pregnant (yeah, had a wee bit of a scare complete with a battery of pregnacy symptoms). Ya know, I decided I'd be OK to be a single parent, because I know you wouldn't be there because of her - admitting you were having a child with another woman would have outted your little game. I also decided that I'd see your ass in court. It took two to tango. However, thankfully only one line appeared on that magic little stick, so I don't have to worry about having to deal with you ever again. It was dealing with your bullshit that worried me more than having a child.
So to you I bid farewell. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. You don't get a third chance. I'm done. I'm out. And I'm OK!
Monday, September 6, 2010
Boots
I want a pair. Badly.
A few years back I scored myself a pair of fabulous boots. My friends dubbed them my sexy boots. They had a square toe, were an odd burgundy color (which, even more oddly, I liked), came to just above my ankles. Had a square heel that was just high enough without being break-neck high. And they were comfortable. I could wear them for a day out shopping or for a long night of dancing and still be able to feel my feet at the end.
And then my sexy boots died. I wore those boots until I could wear them no more.
Then the search for new sexy boots started. I searched and tried on but none of them were quite right.
And then I found them. Simple dark brown boots, with a modest embellishment at the top of the boot, pointy-ish toe (not uber pointy, but not round either) and again heels that were just the right height, though these heels were more narrow than I was used to. These boots too were comfortable for long wear times.
These boots still have life left in them. They do not yet need replacing. They do, however, need a sibling.
This time I want tall boots. I want boots that come to the knee. I also want them to fit both in the foot and calf. I need wide-calf boots. I also need a wider foot size as well. Regular sizes are just a smidge too tight.
I ordered a pair last year that I really liked. I paid more for them than I wanted to but I found a pair online that I liked. I was excited when they finally arrived. I ran home, ripped the box open and tried them on.
Oh the disappointment. Calf size was perfect, shockingly. The foot size, however, not so much. I even ordered a foot size half a size larger than I normally take. And it was WAY too tight. I double checked my order and I did in fact order a wide foot width. I checked the boots, up they said they're wide as well. However, apparently not wide enough. So back they went.
And my search continues.
A friend of mine posted these on Facebook, and I love them:
YUMMY BOOTS
Issue #1: a 15" calf will NOT fit me
Issue #2: the foot sizes won't fit me either
But I love them. They are very much along the lines of what I am looking for. I've checked Aldo, The Shoe Warehhouse, Zappos....and haven't found anything yet that I really like.
Ugh. Like clothing manufacturers, why is it so hard for the shoe people to translate "regular" sizes into sizes appropriate for us curvalicious ladies? And why are they so damn hard to find?
My search will continue. I will find them........eventually.
A few years back I scored myself a pair of fabulous boots. My friends dubbed them my sexy boots. They had a square toe, were an odd burgundy color (which, even more oddly, I liked), came to just above my ankles. Had a square heel that was just high enough without being break-neck high. And they were comfortable. I could wear them for a day out shopping or for a long night of dancing and still be able to feel my feet at the end.
And then my sexy boots died. I wore those boots until I could wear them no more.
Then the search for new sexy boots started. I searched and tried on but none of them were quite right.
And then I found them. Simple dark brown boots, with a modest embellishment at the top of the boot, pointy-ish toe (not uber pointy, but not round either) and again heels that were just the right height, though these heels were more narrow than I was used to. These boots too were comfortable for long wear times.
These boots still have life left in them. They do not yet need replacing. They do, however, need a sibling.
This time I want tall boots. I want boots that come to the knee. I also want them to fit both in the foot and calf. I need wide-calf boots. I also need a wider foot size as well. Regular sizes are just a smidge too tight.
I ordered a pair last year that I really liked. I paid more for them than I wanted to but I found a pair online that I liked. I was excited when they finally arrived. I ran home, ripped the box open and tried them on.
Oh the disappointment. Calf size was perfect, shockingly. The foot size, however, not so much. I even ordered a foot size half a size larger than I normally take. And it was WAY too tight. I double checked my order and I did in fact order a wide foot width. I checked the boots, up they said they're wide as well. However, apparently not wide enough. So back they went.
And my search continues.
A friend of mine posted these on Facebook, and I love them:
YUMMY BOOTS
Issue #1: a 15" calf will NOT fit me
Issue #2: the foot sizes won't fit me either
But I love them. They are very much along the lines of what I am looking for. I've checked Aldo, The Shoe Warehhouse, Zappos....and haven't found anything yet that I really like.
Ugh. Like clothing manufacturers, why is it so hard for the shoe people to translate "regular" sizes into sizes appropriate for us curvalicious ladies? And why are they so damn hard to find?
My search will continue. I will find them........eventually.
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