K and I met when I lived in Alberta. He and I worked together at a resort. He being who he is not everyone gets along well with him. But for some reason I gave him a chance. We became good friends quickly. Eventually he quit working at the resort as did I.
For lack of a better way of describing him: he's an asshole.
He thinks he's just being honest and saying things that everyone else is afraid to say. Um, no. You're a jerk. And you're hurtful. And most of the rest of us don't say the things you do because its horribly inappropriate.
We remained friends throughout the rest of my time in Alberta. He drove me to the airport the morning I moved back home. We kept in touch sporadically over the next few months then that drifted off. He started dating my friend/roomie/former coworker B after I left Alberta. A few months later they both came here to visit for a week. Once they went back to Alberta I didn't hear from them. I tried several times but never had any luck and eventually gave up trying.
Almost 2 years later he moves here (he is originally from here) when he gets a new job. The plan was for her to follow up a month or two later. He started calling me wanting to get together. It never panned out for two reasons: #1) his hobby of choice is drinking, #2) his timing wasn't always the greatest wanting to get together on days I had to work. So because us getting together never happened he just dropped off the face of the earth. A few weeks later i sent him an email asking where he went and what was up. He sent me back a reply saying something to the effect of: friends talk to friends and want to do things with them, they don't avoid and bail on them. I replied with: And now you know how I felt all that time I never heard a word from you for almost 2 years.
Fast forward to a month ago. He readds me to Facebook. I accepted his friend request, but we never really chatted or anything. Yesterday he messaged me and asked if i want to go grab a beer with him that afternoon. I asked him if today would be an option instead, this way I'd have a day to ponder if I really wanted to reconnect with him. We ended up going for a beer this afternoon where he told me about the drama with B and their breakup, and I told him about my shinanigans with P.
He hasn't changed a bit: he's still an asshole. Only now he admits he's an ass.
So now I'm wondering how much I really want friendship with him again. Yes he's difficult and he's a jerk but he's also the type of person if I called him for something I know without a doubt he'd be there. If I were stuck or needed help he'd be there. I can't say I missed dealing with him over the past year. It was nice to not have to put up with his crap and listen to him spew vile negativity. And now I'm torn. Try to rekindle a friendship or let it go again?
*****
On another note.......
I've been following the rescue cover of the miners in Chile. I have to say its nice to finally see some positive news coverage. There's so much negativity out there its refreshing to see something happy on the news.
Every time I see some of the coverage it gives me chills. I can't even imagine what they and their families have been going through and the relief they must be feeling now.
From half a world away: WELCOME HOME!!!
Well... dependable friends that you can really trust are rarer than 'nice' friends, I think.
ReplyDeleteI would becareful with K. Should he could be someone to do something with - but (and maybe I'm not that forgiving) I'd still would not let him all the way close or even consider him a friend.
ReplyDeleteI have several people who I will do friend type stuff with, but I still wouldn't call them a friend. (Though some of these people I did consider friends a lifetime ago, and maybe in the next life time I will again, just not now.)