At a loss

Well, hopefully I will be.

I'm back on the losing weight wagon.  I was HORRIFIED when I hopped on the scale yesterday.  HORRIFIED.  OMG.  I am officially at my highest weight.  And I'm quite disgusted, to be honest.

So, roomie and I started together.  She wants to lose weight for her wedding, as do I so....we also both joined SparkPeople.  I needed away to track my progress and be surrounded by people in the same boat so hopefully it will help.

Yesterday we did a 5k walk.  Today I did Bob Harper's 20min Butt and Balance cardio workout.  OMG.  Brutal.  But I did it.

Monday, Wednesday, and Friday are my cardio days. Tuesday and Thursday are strength.  Saturday is a whatever day, and Sunday is my lazy day. 

Major goal #1 - break out of the 200s.
Other goals: ditch drinking pop, walk 10miles per week, walk each day.   SparkPeople has also suggested I collect motivational pictures daily as well. So, here you go...

So tired.

I'm tired of being tired all the time. 
Why can't I ever just have a day or two where I actually feel like I've gotten enough sleep, where I feel refreshed and ready to go.  Instead, on a daily basis, I feel sluggish, and constantly tired.   There never seems to be the right amount of sleep for me.  I sleep too little I feel crappy.  I sleep too much I feel crappy.  What gives?

I'm sure this iron stuff I've got going on isn't helping.  But this being tired stuff isn't new.  Its been for as long as I can remember.  I usually get a minimum of 8hrs of sleep per night.  So I don't think it has anything to do with the quantity of sleep, but rather with the quality.   I don't think I get good sleep.

I'm a light sleeper.  If someone in the house next door sneezes at 2am I'll probably hear it.  Well, ok, its not that bad.  Some noises I've learned to tune out: like traffic.  Living in the city I've gotten used to traffic at all hours.  Its the random, unusual noises that wake me.  I sleep with a fan 365 days a year:  it generates white noise which helps block out some of the background noises.  Ear plugs aren't an option as I don't like the feel of them in my ears, which only leads to me not sleeping.  And I'm not a relaxed sleeper.  Never have been.  Even when I was a kid if dad had to pick me up to move me while I was sleeping I'd instantly wake up.  I don't relax well in my sleep, or when I'm awake.  Which is definitely as fantastic as it sounds.

I just want to not be tired anymore.